Parenting | Well-Read Reviews

After 15 months, could I REALLY be getting some sleep?

Katelyn Rain, 15 months old.

It has been a very long 15 months, in terms of sleep. I think on any given night, I may sleep a total of 2-3 hours. It is no wonder that I drag along the rest of the day in depressive state, yearning for the moment when I can rest my eyes.

Carli was a great sleeper from the start (still is at 3.) She slept through the night at 9 weeks and usually slept from 8-8:30 until at least 5:00am. When Katelyn came along, I was expecting the same. First rule in parenting is, “No child is ever the same.” so I should have known better. 9 weeks came and went for Katelyn and she was still up frequently during the night.

I think many people fail to realize how important sleep is for mothers. It can really take a physical and psychological toll on our bodies. I felt the pressure to accept that my breastfeeding daughter needed to nurse all night to be content, but inside I was resentful. I just wanted a few hours of sleep at a time. Or hell, some consistency. I got neither.

I couldn’t cosleep with my daughter, although I sure tried. When she was done nursing, she would fuss and fuss to be in her own “space”. I guess Kate is very much like me in that sense — needing a sense of space while sleeping. So even if she had taken half an hour to nurse, she would fuss and I would have to get up. It wasn’t that easy, though –  just putting her back down. For 9 months she had to be swaddled.. and I mean had to. Any time she would move, she’d jolt awake and cry to be nursed. Swaddling her gave her more sleep, as little sleep as she actually got in one sitting.

After getting her settled, it would take me 15 minutes, sometimes 20 or 30 to get back to sleep. Sure enough, 45 minutes to an hour later, she was up again. This, my friends — is what I have put up with for 15 months. Doesn’t it make you tired (or a bit nutty) just thinking about it? If it doesn’t.. then you’re not normal.

The lack of sleep has affected me in so many ways that I can not even begin to describe in one entry. But to name a few:

  • It contributed dramatically to postpartum depression (which made it difficult to bond to Katelyn for many months). This, in turn, made me feel inadequate as a Mother. What Mother (GOOD Mother) takes months to bond to her own flesh and blood?
  • Caused me to be impatient with my 2 year old.
  • My husband started taking on more work as he got home as I refused to budge from the couch (as exhaustion had taken over.)
  • Took away my enthusiasm for general living. Not much made me happy — at all.. except the idea that SOMEDAY I may get to sleep again.

With the support of family and friends, I finally sought some help for my postpartum depression (something that I wish to discuss at greater lengths another time) and in doing so — I was able to deal better with the lack of sleep. I was able to bond with my infant daughter, and my patience for my 2 year old increased (although now she is 3 and boy, oh, boy — is she something!”)

Still, though — I wanted sleep. I craved it, and although I no longer was upset with Katelyn, I knew in my heart she wanted sleep too. On the few occasions when she would sleep for 5+ hours in a row, the following day she was incredibly happy and amiable and loving. Seeing how being well-rested affected us both in such positive ways, I vowed I would figure out a way to help her learn how to sleep well.

I decided that it was my parental duty to teach my child this skill of sleeping; the first of many skills I hope to teach her (and that I will be responsible for teaching her) as she grows. While Carli was able to learn to comfort herself and sleep longer periods right away, it was something that Katelyn lacked. It was a skill, in her case, that needed to be learned.

But what way could I teach my child how to sleep and still maintain my sanity (and hers?!)

I felt like I couldn’t discuss the sleep issues with my breastfeeding Mama friends as they seemed content in their lack of sleep and God forbid I express any interest in the cry it out method. (Note: If you want genuine research on the Cry It Out method, read this blog entry: When Proof is Not Proof.)

I struggled with this. The crunchy Mamas I knew frowned upon it in a huge way. After all, Dr. Sears (who I DO really enjoy and have read a majority of his books) claims that CIO is nothing short of abuse (to paraphrase.) Mamas have taken his word as gospel without having actually read the studies that he has mentioned when trying to prove his point. The resources he uses are of actually abused AND neglected children — not even children who are well loved, fed, cared for and of parents gently guiding them to sleep.  Yes if you abandon your child to cry for hours without so much as your appearance, it is neglectful. AND these children that are in the studies are children that are left to cry all day, every day, for months; the kind of sad stories you read about on BadBreeders.net.

BUT — not all sleep training is.

In fact it was one article I read on Dr. Sears on night weaning that gave me the idea and I combined it with time tested methods from friends who I trust. Combined, Katelyn slept from 9:30-4am the first night, and 9:30am-6:00am the second. This is amazing, you see. So how did I do it?

I realize that Katelyn has become completely dependent on nursing. Every time she wakes up (and I believe the average sleep cycle of children her age are less than 2 hours), she wasn’t able to get herself back to sleep so she HAD to nurse.  Dr. Sears recommended nursing really well before putting them to bed and then when they cried to nurse in the middle of the night, to comfort them in other ways that did not include nursing.

What is kind of funny is that Dr. Sears said they will cry and cry and that is okay because they will know its there. So the very person who so outwardly is against crying it out of any kind — also says its okay? Yeah, I am confused by it as well. Either way, I told myself that when she woke up in the middle of the night, I wouldn’t get up to nurse her. I would let her know that I was there and make her comfortable — but I would not nurse her.

The first night I woke up at 3am with Katelyn in bed with me. I could not, for the life of me, remember getting her. Then hubby was on call and I couldn’t very well deal with a crying baby who may cry for an unsaid amount of time when he would be most likely getting little sleep. So for another week, I got up and nursed her and did the same ‘ol routine of not having a routine.

Then we moved — and I felt guilty that we were in a new place and  I kept telling myself that she must be scared and worried and that I shouldn’t move AND take away night time feedings as WELL. Gah — there was always some excuse and meanwhile, I would wake up every day a complete zombie. Of course, I would take it all out on my husband (who does NOT deserve it.) That’s it — I had to do it. No more night time feedings and if she cried, well — she cried.

The first night — well, to be honest, it is hell on Earth. No one wants to hear their child cry, especially if they know exactly what will solve the problem. Forrest and I would look at each other in bed, and he would try to talk to me and I would shush him, unable to think of anything but Katelyn. I would go to her, pick her up,  kiss her, sing to her, and she would scream and pull at my shirt. I would put her back down, and she would get back up and she would cry for a few minutes and I would go back to her and settle her back down, put on her leap frog soother (which is awesome, by the way) on 20 minutes of nature sounds.

I think this went on for maybe half an hour, 45 minutes the first night. I think she got up briefly around 3 but when I went to comfort her, she settled right down. I could sense that it was beginning to work. She knew I was there, yet she also was gaining a sense of comfort in herself. She wasn’t learning to not need me but she was learning that she had the skills, as well, to comfort herself. There is a difference.

During the day she is so mellow and happy and smiley. I know, in my heart, that I did not do the wrong thing for my child. She needed this; to learn how to fall asleep and go back to sleep. She now is going down easily rather than it being a 45 minute ordeal each night. Now she is just laying down, puts her head to the side as I give her a lot of kisses and hair rubs. I turn on her soother, cover her with a blanket and I don’t hear a peep.

I am enjoying the sleep. I can feel myself going into a deeper sleep. It is taking some getting used to as I’ll wake up around 4-4:30 and be unable to get back to sleep. My body is just not used to so much sleep anymore!

So for those who are struggling with the sleep situation — do what is best for you and your family. If you feel in your heart that you cannot stand to listen to have them a rough night or two of controlled crying, then don’t do it. If you feel that it is what your child needs (like mine), then do it — but do always let your child know you are there, at least in presence if not touch or sound.

All children are different and all families are different — and “crying it out” or “sleep training” is not right for everyone but in our case — it was just what she needed to get some rest, as well as for me to get some rest and we couldn’t be happier.

So — if you have something negative to say about how horrible of a mother I must be (without knowing me or having met me) then by all means, keep it to yourself. Anyone that has met my children in real life knows how loved and HAPPY they are and my not nursing Katie through the night certainly is not going to change that.

My Three Year Old Comes to the Rescue

Outfit from: MyBabyClothesBoutique.com

I am changing Katelyn’s diaper and as she likes to flip over on the changing table, I have to hold her down as I attempt to diaper her one handed.  As I am doing this, Kate is nibbling on my knuckle. Only light nibbles and then one big — CRUNCH. I scream out in pain. (When did she get jaws of steel?)

“Mommy!! You okay? I am coming!” I hear my 3 year old, Carli, from the other room. “What’s wrong? You okay?” she asks me, now standing next to me. It was a quick run down the hall for such a short little girl.

“I am okay.” I tell her, my knuckle throbbing, and Katelyn looking as if she’s going to burst into tears at any second. “Katie bit Mommy. Can you tell your sister that it is not nice to bite?”

“Don’t bite, Mommy!” she says and I can’t tell if she’s telling me not to bite or telling Sissy not to bite me, specifically.

“Thanks, Carli.” I reply as I finish putting Katelyn’s shorts back on.

“It’s okay, Mommy. Carli is here and I am not leaving you.” she tells me. Her compassion, way beyond her years, is surprising. I don’t know why I am so surprised because she is such a caring and loving little girl. But to hear her echo my own words that I have said to her so many times in her own time of pain and need, makes me feel rather good. Often I feel like I am failing as a parent, but it is moments like these when I realize that I am doing pretty damn good.

Happy 3rd Birthday to Carli!

I can not believe my baby girl is 3 already — 3. It felt like just yesterday when I had her and now she’s 3. She might as well be 13 because in my eyes she is growing entirely too fast for comfort.

 

About half an hour before her entrance into the world.

On June 12th, 2008 I was not expecting to have my baby. All I thought that morning at 8:30am was that I got to see my baby — via ultrasound. It was standard, you know. I was 37 weeks, 4 days and it was just a routine check. Unfortunately they discovered that Carli was breech. When the ultrasound technician told me this, I automatically started crying. I knew that they would start talking about a possible c-section since she was still breech at 37 weeks. I had no idea at that time yet, that the c-section they would want to perform would be an early as that evening.

I was not entirely well informed of childbirth. I knew I wanted my natural experience and I knew that doctors usually pushed for unnecessary c-sections but yet, I still didn’t know what a legitimate concern would be. Had they said that she was just breech I probably would have said ‘No’ to the c-section but they threw the death card at me when they told me that on top of her being breech, my fluids were incredibly low. I was told that had she turned, she risked a major cord accident. Now, had I known what I know now — I would have asked to be monitored at the hospital first, get hooked up to IV fluids on top of drinking a ton of water and then being rechecked a few hours later. At this time I had no idea about fluids being refilled (but this knowledge would eventually come in handing with the following pregnancy when my low fluids returned). Re-hydrating yourself, by the way, will bring up your fluids so don’t let a doctor tell you otherwise.

But anyhow — I agreed to have my c-section that day. I was scheduled for 8pm and was told to not eat anything after 12pm. I couldn’t eat anyway as I’ve never had a major surgery before in my life and I was scared shitless. By the time 8pm rolled around and I was still in the waiting room I was not only anxious to get it over with but I was beyond hungry; the kind of hungry where you want to bite everyone’s face off if they should even MENTION food. It was torture waiting but I was lucky that my family was there, Forrest was there, and my best friends were all there (minus a few who were there in spirit as they lived too far away.)

Carli was born at 10:28pm and weighed a whopping 5lbs,4oz and was 18″ long. Tiny, but healthy. I was very blessed.

Fresh out of the oven.

Carli was the easiest baby two parents could ever hope for. Really — the easiest. She was very quiet, laid back, and never complained. She slept through the night at 9weeks (from 8pm-5am). She was content being in your presence and didn’t have an ounce of fuss in her tiny little body. Then, one day I woke up and she had gone from just born to one years old.

Just two days shy of her first birthday!

Carli was an easy baby-toddler. After all, she took her time with whatever she did. She was never interested in crawling all that much and hesitant to walk. Finally around 17 months, she took off (and at Gamestop, of all places!)

At the time I was impatient for her to start walking but now I feel very fortunate that my child was not mobile for so long as she hasn’t stopped since! During this time she had a nasty habit of putting spoons and forks and fingers in her hair, winding them so what formed was a huge dreadlock. I had to take scissors to her hair a few times. Yes, it was that bad.

Attempting to fix her butchered hair.

We had breakfast at the White Wolf Cafe on her birthday. She had her brand new Matilda Jane outfit on, which we promptly striped her down so she could eat her chocolate chip pancakes without me worrying about the inevitable stains.

Now her second year was very eventful. Just a month later she would become a big sister to Katelyn who was born on July 13th 2010. From the start, Carli was a wonderful big sister. She still is just amazing with her and Katelyn just adores her big sister. How could you not?

Now, she is 3.

I love you, Carli. You are an amazingly funny, generous, spirited, beautiful little girl and I look forward to watching you continue to grow up!

 

Love,
The Luckiest Mommy in the World

2010: A Year in Pictures

As the year draws to an end, I think of all the wonderful memories that have become of it. It was a tiring but wonderful year. Below, I have a year in pictures. Every month with a picture that represents it.

January 2010

In January we visited Green Meadows Farm with Carli — something we thought she may enjoy. It was a chilly day out but she got to ride around in a wagon, which she enjoyed. She saw a boy her age there (who was pretty cute, if I remember correctly) and said, “hi” and then went to kiss him! It’s then we realized .. we really need to watch out for her! She is a flirt to the extreme (or just very friendly..)

February 2010

Is she not a ham, or what? Shortly after this she got very sick for the first time in her life. She woke up one morning not herself and then started throwing up repeatedly. She got her first UTI! It was from a new bubble bath we had just got to make bath time more fun. Needless to say, we never touched the stuff after that. She was quick to bounce back and was wonderful after she started taking medicine. Forrest was the most EXCEPTIONAL Dad during this time, too. I have an extreme OCD fear with vomit.. and Forrest ended up taking care of her during the worst of the illness (and got puked on about 5 times). He deserved a Dad of the Year award for that one.

March 2010

Carli developed a love for swings. Considering she was still too young to do a lot of what you see on the playground, the swings were about it at this time. She loved it and was content just swinging there for an hour if you’d let her!

April 2010

A girly girl at her finest, she loved rings and bracelets and most of all — Elmo.

May 2010

Here is Carli and my bestfriend Blair’s 4 year old daughter, Emmy. Carli just adores Emmy (who she calls “Ernie”). Emmy is very patient with her and they have a lot of fun. I think they get along so well because they are both pretty outgoing little girls. Blair was down to visit at this time, securing a place for her family to move into. They were moving down from Tallahassee. I was very excited to have my best friend close!

June 2010

Carli is now 2 years old, finally! Here she is again with Emmy. They reminded me of two pre-teens here, giggling and squealing and acting like .. well.. obnoxious. But it was cute anyway.. I just have to start preparing myself for a loud teenager in the future.

July 2010

Katelyn, my second daughter is born. I should have known she’d be a handful from the start when the first thing she does as they are pulling her out of my belly via c-section was pee all over me. *grin* Katelyn was 5lbs, 10oz and 18″ long. She was born at 10:09am at 37weeks, 2 days on July 13th 2010. She was a few days younger than Carli when Carli was born, but she was a whole 6 oz bigger! I decide with this baby that I am going to try my hardest and exclusively breastfeed. (And I do..)

August 2010

Katelyn develops a really nasty case of infant acne. It made taking pictures difficult because it was just so horrible. I’d look at pictures and just feel so bad for her! We ended up switching to DOVE SENSITIVE soap when we bathed ourselves just in case it was something on our skin. She cleared up within a week or so of us switching — but then again, it could have just been a coincidence.

September 2010

We drove up to Atlanta, GA for my friend Laura’s wedding. While we were there I was able to meet a wonderful friend, Joan and her son for the first time. We had met on a pregnancy birth board while we were pregnant with these two. We had been corresponding for about 3 years at this point so it was nice to finally meet each other in person!

October 2010

I admit it. I lived vicariously through my daughter. I found out later that it’s the same costume that Sarah Michelle Gellar’s daughter, Charlotte, wore that year — too. :) Carli was a very good Dorothy. Some day she’ll see the movie. I am saving the movie for when she’s 3. I think she’ll enjoy it — or at least, I hope as much as I did (and still do!)

November 2010

Carli has taken a huge interest in music lately, especially guitars. She must MUST take after her father (who is an amazing guitarist, himself!)

December 2010

Carli and Katelyn adore each other in the most precious way possible. The way Carli protects Katelyn and mothers her — just amazes me. The way Katelyn looks up at Carli and smiles like she’s the happiest sister in the world just makes my heart melt. I love watching these two, together. They make me both very happy.

And with that, our year has drawn to a close. What will 2011 bring?

Happy Holidays from Us to You :)

Did you have a nice holiday? Our family had a wonderful time together. For the first time — ever, we had Christmas morning somewhere other than my parent’s house. We had it at MY house. My parents took Carli Christmas Eve and brought her back Christmas morning at 8:30am. While Carli was too busy, I definitely enjoyed having all my family over! I even made some homemade raisin bread — which unfortunately, no one ate. (But at least they raved about my French bread the night before!)

Here are some pictures from our holiday together. It was Katelyn’s first Christmas! Big sister Carli made off like a bandit with so many goodies!







I hope you had a wonderful holiday with your loved ones!

Wordless Wednesday: A Mama’s View

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Keeping the little ones as safe as possible #ChildSafety

Keep that baby safe!

I am notoriously picky about my child’s safety. When we were at our old house, Carli was blocked off from anything she could get hurt with. I had a special play area that was behind a wide gate that kept her safe when I couldn’t keep an eye on her 24/7. I knew that whatever was in there, was safe.

In fact, I am such a paranoid mother that when Carli started eating solids, I would tear things into pieces so small that she developed the ability to pinch and pick up the tiniest of objects. People (family) still joke with me that it is because I made everything so small for her.

Now that we have moved into a new house (and have another new baby) I am even twice as paranoid. I think about everything from the sockets in the wall, to if I have purchased the best baby mattress for my little ones.

I am very big on crib mattress safety. Our mattress(es) are firm without excess blankets. We do not use bumpers at all. We keep the temperature in the girls room cool and we do not over dress them in anything too warm. For example, a lot of baby and toddler pajamas come with footies and long sleeves made of fleece. While they may be fine in other states, it is still too hot for such items to be worn to bed.

I do what I can to follow the rules and even so, I am super worried every night I go to bed until they wake up in the morning. Forrest still does not like going to work without seeing Carli in her room. While I appreciate his concern, he leaves at 7am! (Our kids will probably never learn to sleep in, LOL!)

We brought our wide gate with us to the new house and it currently blocks off the kitchen so Carli (and eventually Katie) can not get into the kitchen where they could potentially get hurt. I’ve stuck wall plugs in every socket I could find. I’ve cut the cord(s) to the window blinds around the house so they are out of reach. (Nothing like the huge WARNING sign on the windows to make a Mom go a bit nutty).

Carli still isn’t allowed free range in her own room, yet.Forrest needs to secure her bookcase with an anchor and then she will be good to go. We still need to find a way to secure a  bifold door. (If anyone has any ideas, that would be wonderful!) And we need a few more baby gates.. but our new place is definitely becoming baby/toddler proof.

So tell me, what are you doing to keep your little ones safe in your home?

Carli Talks: Holy Language Explosion!

Sweet Girl!

Carli is 2 years old (27 months to be exact) and is as talkative as ever. She amazes me every day with her naming things that she hadn’t previously named — or repeating something I’ve said after I’ve said it.

This morning she was having some breakfast and she kept saying “mee-ur” and I was like, “mm??” and looked around to what she could be talking about. Sure enough, she was pointing to her little play mirror. It’s strange because “mirror” is not a word we say a lot. She’s heard it maybe a handful of times?

Then she started pointing towards the dining room table where I was sitting this morning and kept saying, “Barn!” and I had NO idea this time what she was talking about and she kept saying, “Barn! Barn! Barn!” and I finally (thankfully) figured out she was talking about a little play milk carton. The shape is kind of “barn-like” so I can completely understand why she was calling it a barn.

Her new words (also) are “sassies” which are “glasses”.  Carli also does a great job of pointing out people. If you ask, “Where is Daddy?” She knows exactly (and same for Mommy and Papa, Beba and Pepa as well as her little sissy.) But now her new thing is if you ask where Carli is, she pats herself. It’s adorable.

Things that melt my heart is when I tell her goodnight and she goes, “Love you, Mommy!” (Ugh! How can you not want to turn around and cover her face in a thousand good night kisses?) And also when I give her something, she is learning manners and will say, “Thank You, Mommy”. I am trying to encourage manners so if someone does something or gives her something out in public, I make sure to attempt my hardest at getting her to say “Thank You”.

It’s hard to believe that it’s just going to get more intense with her language development and this time next year — she’ll most likely be having conversations with me! (Gah!) I love my daughter(s)!

Baby Slings Benefit Both Parent and Child

Wear that baby close!

Visit any park or mall and you will see them: parents with their babies strapped securely to their chests in a baby sling. Baby slings are chic and vogue today, so they almost seem like a new invention in the world of baby gear. However, baby slings are not a new invention. They have been used for centuries by women across the globe who needed to have their hands free while caring for their infants. Today’s baby slings simply offer a comfortable evolution of these older versions.

Benefits of Using a Sling for the Parent

Parents who use baby slings benefit from having their hands free while they care for their babies. This allows them to interact with their other children, shop, do certain types of housework, or even sit at the computer while holding their babies. They also benefit from developing a close, trusting relationship with their new babies.

Another benefit of baby slings for parents is the fact that today’s baby slings are easy on the back. Carrying your baby constantly on your hip or shoulder is very trying on the muscles of the back. When used properly, a baby sling distributes the baby’s weight more evenly, and even takes some of the weight in the fabric of the sling. This means you could carry your baby all day long without feeling muscle strain in your back. As a side benefit, new mothers’ backs get a break when using a baby sling because they are not constantly bending over to pick up their babies.

Breastfeeding mothers benefit from using a baby sling because they provide a way to nurse in public while remaining discrete. Also, holding a baby close to the skin helps the mother produce the hormones that lead to proper milk production.

Benefits of Using a Sling for Babies

Baby slings benefit the infant as much, if not more, than they benefit the mother. Today’s baby slings provide the proper support for a new baby’s neck and back. Unlike front and back carriers, a sling does not force the baby’s legs into an unnatural position, which is very important in the first few months.

Babies benefit from being held in a secure, cozy position that imitates the womb. This can help them transition much more peacefully from the world inside their mothers to the world outside. They also develop a positive bond with their parents or main caregivers, which help them develop emotionally. Babies who are worn in a sling cry much less often than other babies. They can sleep while close to mom, and once they are soundly sleeping mom can transition them easily into their crib for a good nap.

Parents of fussy babies find that a baby sling helps them calm their crying child. When a child is carried in a baby sling, he is constantly moving, much as he was in the womb. This, accompanied by the secure, close hold that is created with a baby sling, allows the baby to calm himself and often fall asleep. Babies who need to be held frequently due to gas or colic can be held without completely limiting the mother’s ability to function as a member of the family.

Some parents may wonder if carrying their baby in a sling will make them too attached. This does not happen. Surprisingly, toddlers who were worn in baby slings as babies are usually much more comfortable separating from their parents when they need to do so. Experts believe this is because of the many emotional benefits of using baby slings.

If you’re a new parent, a baby sling should be on your list of necessary baby gear. Most slings are relatively inexpensive, the benefits are many, and the bonding it provides is a great way to show your affection to your baby.

Learn more about baby slings and find out why a baby sling may be the best choice for carrying your child.

David Cummings is General Manager of Bustling Baby, a business devoted to providing baby mobility, comfort, and convenience to active families.

Author: David Cummings
Article Source: EzineArticles.com

BEWARE: Formula Company’s “Breastfeeding Help” line(s) or Products

You’re sitting at your doctors office and he (or she) asks you the big question, “Will you be bottle feeding or breastfeeding?” You say “Breast” because, “Breast is best, right?” but you don’t know much about it. The doctor (or nurse) retracts and then comes back with a gift. You look down at this box, “A breastfeeding support kit — cool!” Then you begin to observe it. Enfamil? Aren’t they a formula company? Why would they be supporting the very thing that could put them out of business? Good question.

They’re not.

Breastfeeding Support Packs

Formula companies are deceiving you. They aren’t in support of your breastfeeding — come on! This breastfeeding support pack makes just as much sense at receiving information on a nicotine-free life from major cigarette corporations.

What they are doing you is the bait and switch. “Oh how kind of Enfamil for giving me this stuff. They must REALLY care about me and my breast feeding. I trust them. And this free sample of formula? I hadn’t planned on using it.. but I guess once wouldn’t hurt. I mean, I have to sleep one time.”

Do you see where I am going with this? They understand that the simple act of having it in one’s possession (along with misinformation) will weaken the new mother enough to use their product; to see its temporary “ease”, and switch from breast to bottle. (And believe me — as a breastfeeding Mom who used to bottle feed..  breastfeeding is SOOO much easier!) Yes it’s harder than hell at first but if you push through it (and you will) it’s just SO much easier all around.

When I had Carli in June of 2008, I didn’t know much about breastfeeding. I knew very little people who breastfed so my support system lacked incredibly. I had no one around to keep me going when I was feeling overwhelmed or lost or insecure about my breastfeeding relationship. But you know who was there for me? Enfamil & Similac and their endless formula samples. (Gag)

Overly tired and drugged up from my c-section, I let my husband give her a bottle. There wasn’t one single day in Carli’s life where she wasn’t supplemented with formula. Needless to say, we stopped breastfeeding by 2 months. Feeling endless guilt, I tried to re-lactate but found it incredibly hard and the formula samples kept coming! I vowed not to be a pawn in their marketing schemes with my next child. I would be well-informed and decline everything.

Katelyn has gone 2 months, so far, without a single taste of formula — and going strong. Boo ya, Enfamil/Similac et all.

Breastfeeding Support Lines

Abbot (aka Similac) has created a new breastfeeding support help line.  It’s another bait and switch tactic. Just imagine, a breastfeeding mother — overwhelmed and no support calls up this “support help line” because they are feeling insecure about their supply. Instead of calling a certified IBCLC, they call this Similac support help line — because it’s a name they are familiar with so “it must be trustworthy” — right?

In fact, an IBCLC I know called them up, pretending to be a mother with very basic breastfeeding issues (an insecure with supply) and you know what they told her? They mixed basic breastfeeding support with marketing their product, “Well, you’re going to want to get the baby to breast as much as possible — but you’ll also need to supplement with our formula because it sounds like the baby is not getting enough. Some Mom’s just can’t breastfeed.”

!@#$%^&*(!@#$%^&*(#$%^&*(

Are you SERIOUS?! Nice. REAL nice.

Do you know the actual percentage of mom’s who CAN’T breastfeed is incredibly low — like, less than 1%? And most likely, if you’re having breastfeeding difficulties, you’re NOT that 1% no matter what a doctor may tell you. If you are having (what you feel) is supply issues, see a certified IBCLC. Then, see another. Join a support group of breastfeeding Moms. Get the facts, not the false information forked over by formula companies to urge you to switch to their products.(And yes, many doctors or hospitals are financially supplemented by these formula companies to recommend their use.) If you come across ANY doctor that says that without a doubt, formula is equally as good (if not better) than breastfeeding, find a new doctor. Find one quickly.

If after seeing MULTIPLE IBCLCs and participating religiously in support groups, you are still having issues — you may in fact be that 1% but most likely you will be diagnosed with supply issues for a specific reason BY an IBCLC. They are trained specifically to help, diagnose, and treat. In very rare occasions, formula may be your last resort. But let it be that — your last resort.

But back to the issue at hand — support help lines. Do you know that these “counselors” are not certified through any breastfeeding organization? They are NOT IBCLCs (although Nestle claims thier counselors are CLCs, to which I would report them for their malpractice). So just who are you getting your “expert” information from? What dignifies them as an “expert”? A day-long training from Enfamil? Pu-lease. IBCLCs train for YEARS to understand how our breasts work and how to support a healthy breastfeeding relationship. YEARS. It’s not information you can learn in a day and no respectable, professional, IBCLC would ever work for a formula company. Case closed.

If they claim they are “certified”, ask them their intentions as breastfeeding supporters working for the very organization that is recommending formula supplementation to a “client” they have never met or observed breastfeeding. Don’t take advice from a counselor recommending formula without careful observation and documentation of your situation.

Free Samples

They are everywhere. In a normal world — free is good.  Free is fabulous — especially when the product is expensive. But in a breastfeeding world, free is dangerous (unless of course you’re receiving free stuff that is SUPPORTIVE of actual exclusive breastfeeding [whether by breastmilk in a bottle or actually to the breast.])

When I gave birth to Carli at Winnie Palmer  Hospital in Orlando, FL — the formula samples were right there. Showing me their cute little “individual” sized bottles. Oh and I got a TON when I went to Prenatal Impressions in Orlando for her 3D Ultrasound. Then I come home after having the baby, and more samples in the mail. An actual large case of it! You almost feel wasteful for throwing it out — so you use it. Bad move.

This time around when I gave birth at Altamonte Hospital (I switched after my horrible experience with Winnie Palmer) — I received not a single sample of formula. Not a coupon, or anything. I had not ONE nurse tell me I needed to supplement, but only worked with me to make sure Katelyn got the best pre-milk (MY milk) possible. It was because of their support that I was on a good start and breastfeeding exclusively today.

Now — let’s talk about the ultimate free sample nightmare, Nestle. Do you know what those morally-corrupt a-holes did? Don’t worry, I didn’t know until about a month ago and since then I have boycotted Nestle and their products.

They went to a third-world country (who, by the way , breastfeed) and handed out a vast array of free formula samples claiming that it was better than their breastmilk. These mothers, wanting the very best for their children and knowing very well that being in a third world country, they lacked in general, they eagerly accepted these hand outs.

Nestle gave them just enough formula to last them until their milk went dry and they were unable to breastfeed any longer. Now the issue starts, these families can NOT afford formula. So what they would end up doing is heavily diluting their formula with bad and/or tainted water so it was mostly water. In effect, their babies were now severely malnourished and/or died. Nestle did nothing to help. But .. helping was not their issue. They just wanted to push and sell their product.

To read more about the Nestle & bad marketing crisis, read the following web-articles:

Just to name a few..

Now if these formula companies are choosing to be so deceptive in their marketing plans to get you to buy their product, what else are they not telling us?

Pregnancy is beautiful!

(I only wish I pulled it off so nicely!) But this past Friday I spent some time with an old friend I have known since middle school and did a photo shoot for her. She is pregnant and due very soon!

I never took pregnancy photos with either of my kids — although part of me wishes I had (I mean, after all pregnancy is beautiful!) But I just never FELT beautiful. I am really happy, though, I at least got to help Judy capture this memory in time! She is a beautiful pregnant woman!

We went down to Historic Sanford (where My Girl was filmed supposedly) and took these shots. It was so freaking hot out and I remember how miserable I was when I was as far along as Judy is — and she was such a trooper! She even walked up a huge flight of stairs for some photos!


So I just wanted to share a few of my favorites from the session. I hope (I sincerely do) that I captured her pregnancy the way she wants to remember it!

 

 


It’s *SO* hot out but she’s worth it.

Most days it’s over 100 degrees in this lovely state of Florida. On top of the high temperature, Florida is known for it’s very uncomfortable humidity. Even on days of 80′s, humidity index can be so high, you are sweating bullets on your way from your door to your car (a simple 20 feet away.) Though even as hot as it is, it doesn’t stop a two year old from wanting to go out and enjoy the sunshine.

Weeeeeeee!!

So I have been taking the girls to the park a few times a week. If Carli doesn’t get out of the house (I don’t blame her) she tends to get stir crazy. So we head out to this shaded park in my area. It’s quite beautiful, actually. Big full trees that offer a lot of shade. It has a dog park (in which I’ve never actually seen any dogs there), a big walking trail, and of course — a place for kids to play.

I met up with some other Moms from a local meet up group. One Mom in particular had two little boys who (it took me a few minutes to realize) but were the same two little mean boys that yelled in Carli’s face a few months ago and just about ripped my heart out seeing her get yelled at (over nothing).

I realized this as we were swinging in the swing, the older boy next to her, Carli was laughing and laughing and he says to her, “It’s not funny.” The way he said it was very cold, as if she did not have permission to laugh. Instead of saying anything, I laughed with my daughter. We smiled and giggled and carried on.

At that very moment..

I was snapping pictures of Carli coming through the tube when the same boy said “STUPID!” (calling my little girl STUPID!) I could NOT believe it. She hadn’t done a SINGLE thing. I said to him, “You do not have to be mean to her. She has done nothing to you.” He didn’t apologize but it was like a switch went off.

He stopped. He stopped acting mean towards her and saying mean things. He instead played with her. PLAYED with her! They genuinely seemed to be having a good time later on and it was hard to believe that this same boy (who was being so sweet and caring with her now, even holding her hand) could be so gosh darn awful to her before. (Poor Carli, already dealing with boy’s mind games — eh?) Just kidding. :)

Her laughter is infectious.

The thing I really admire about my daughter is she gets over things so quickly. She forgives so easily and she is so empathic to other people’s feelings. Yesterday when I was crying over something — she kept saying, “Mommy? You okay? You okay?” She just cares so much and it’s so heart-aching to me when I see anyone give her less than anything that she deserves.

Very determined, she goes for what she wants and doesn’t let anyone bring her down.  It’s like she feels its her  mission to make others laugh so they feel good and that in itself makes her feel good. She accepts everyone as they are  and holds no judgement. If a boy wants to play with trains and make monkey noises, she’s right there with her choo choo’s and monkey dances. It doesn’t matter what anyone wants to do — as long as they are laughing she’s for it.

On another note — I love watching older kids play with Carli. There is a patient gentleness about it. Where is it that we learn to get so impatient with others who do not know any better? When is it that we don’t stop to help someone in need; in need of a friend or help up? It’s sad that it’s human instinct to care for others and then we stop doing it.

I was watching this little girl play with my daughter and it was just amazing. The way she dealt with my two year old.. it makes me wonder why I can’t deal with my two year old the same exact way.

They played together for a good half an hour, following each other every where. Then suddenly I look up, and she is gone. It was like she was a little angel befriending my daughter and not only giving me a break, but giving Carli 30 minutes of laughter and a fun time. I’ll never forget the throaty sound of my daughter laughing hysterically as she went down the slide with her new friend.

I hope (for Carli’s sake) we should see them again someday!

Life with Two (is better than one.)

Life with two is — dare I say it — WONDERFUL. However I am exhausted all the time in the emotional efforts I take daily to get to know two little girls in their own distinct personalities and cater to them. I want them to feel loved and appreciated and equally acknowledged. It’s hard.

Carli loves to hold "Kay-yee" aka her "Sissy".

Carli is a fabulous big sister. She is outgoing, full of pride, and very affectionate.  Very quick to let you know when “Kay-ee cry!” and is easily persuaded into helping me calm her little sister down when I cannot immediately get to her (i.e. driving in the car). In the back seat I can hear Carli saying in her little two year old voice, “It’s okay, Katie. No cry!” and I am sure she’d give her kisses if their car seats were close enough to each other.

It’s great having Carli be eager to help, but also can be difficult as she doesn’t always understand herself when I cannot attend to HER straight away. Instead she gives me a dramatic-hands-on-each-side-of-her-face stance and says, “I going cry!” and she lets out a few provoked tears and then states, “OOoh my EYES!” Such a drama queen,that Carli Veronica is!

On her best behavior.

We went to breakfast with her “Pepaw” yesterday morning at the Cracker Barrel and Carli sat there attentively and colored with her crayons on the children’s menu and she barely gave a peep. Usually I am taking the crayons away from her after she decides to take a big bite out of them. This time, however, I told her that the crayons were not to be bit and eaten. She listened. She was very good.

As we were leaving an older woman stopped me and said, “I just wanted to let you know that your two girls are SO well behaved.” and no, I don’t hear that often. Cute, adorable — a comment about her outfit — sure. But at two the comments about how “good” your daughter is becomes less and less and replaced more with “She’s so outgoing!” (Which is nice talk for “Whoa, Nelly!”) I just have to keep telling people, “Well.. she’s two.” Most people nodd in understanding and I hope that is true, that they understand and remember what it’s like to have a two year old.

Carli isn’t bad — not at all. She is just very active and outgoing and hates to be tied down. She grows very upset and sensitive if she feels stifled. She has a “go-to” attitude and will do what it takes to get what she wants, which in reality, will be a great quality for when she is older but is a bit hard to manage when they don’t quite understand the gravity of their behavior.

She loves playing with others. She loves to laugh and screech and run around and be merry. She only grows upset if she spies injustice (others playing and she’s locked up in a chair, or unable to play due to her own limitations). It’s like seeing a bird fly and thinking, “Why can’t I??!” Carli is extremely passionate in everything she does and I love that about her.

Good morning, Sunshine!

Then there is Little Sister, Katelyn. She has a gentle quiet personality. More sensitive than her sister, she is very aware of someone being upset and this makes her extremely upset. Not as easy-going as her sister was at this age and she has been more difficult to get to know. Just when I thought I had it figured out for a few weeks ago, it wasn’t it. I think my issue was that I kept comparing her to Carli and expecting them to like things the same way or do things the same way.

Katelyn is totally different.

Katelyn doesn’t like the attention; not like Carli who absolutely craves attention and will easily befriend others. Katelyn would rather be held close out of the limelight, but being under the wing of someone who can protect her. She has the “Hold me close but don’t look at me too long!” personality. It’s almost as if she wonders if she is being scrutinized or judged or criticized in some sort of way.

The sleeping situation has been something that has required a lot of patience on my part because I just couldn’t figure out what she wanted. At first it didn’t appear that she liked her rocking bassinet. I traded it with a standard flat bassinet my parents had at their house in efforts to see if that made a difference. It didn’t really.

I tried swaddling her in a receiving blanket but I could never get a secure hold. So she made her way out of that. She was still too small for the size small swaddling blanket (with the velcro) so she seemed (for a week or two) to hate those, too! I couldn’t get her to sleep for more than an hour or two at a time and always had a hard time getting her back to sleep in the middle of the night. The ONLY way it seemed she (and I) got any sleep was if she lay closely next to me. Although I think co-sleeping is great (for other families), it’s not something I want our family to do.

Things are getting better though. She is now over 7lbs and fits securely in her swaddling blanket and she’ll last for a few hours in that before her first nightly feeding. For example, last night she slept from 8:30pm-12:30 (4 hours!) before her midnight feeding. I also place her on her side as some babies do not do well with laying on their back because they get that feeling of falling and it startles them.

The swaddling blanket is man's best invention.

I have found that as long as Katelyn is swaddled in her swing, that will give me a good minimum of 20 minutes to go to the bathroom, eat some breakfast, check my email, or do SOMETHING other than nurse and hold her! When we figured this out a few days ago, it was an “ah-hah!” moment of pure joy!

The only thing I don’t like about this Fisher Price Nature’s Touch Swing (which has been passed down by a friend) is that it doesn’t have the essential vibration feature on it. What kind of company comes out with such an awesome dual option swinging, a mobile up top that swirls and plays music — and yet, the forget to put a vibration feature on the seat? (Someone clue in Fisher Price, please?)

One of the cutest faces you ever will see!

Carli at 25 months (What is she up to?)

Carli wearing Matilda Jane top, "Runway Ellie Halter Top".

First born darling deserves her own post — since before Katelyn, all my parenting issues revolved around her. Although she has to share the spotlight now, she should (in no way) have her milestones overlooked.

Carli has turned into the most active little being — running everywhere and rarely running out of energy. She’s been seeing the chiropractor lately to work on some issues left over from her breech birth, altering the way she walked and moved and the speed at which she could do it. In just a month or so of going, it is hard to keep up with her!

Carli Expressions

One of my favorite things to hear from her is “Love you!” after we tell her that we love her. Sometimes we don’t even have to say it to hear it from her little lips. She’ll tell us when we put her down for a nap or for bed at night. Or she’ll tell us when we go to leave somewhere. There is nothing better than hearing, “Love you!” from this sweet little kid.

“Whoa! Wee!” She loves excitement and fast cars. When we make a turn in our car she puts her hands up and goes “Wee!” I have a feeling we have a lot of roller coasters in our future with her! Speaking of cars, she is definitely her father’s child. She’ll see a car and go “Whoa, niiiiiiccee!” and “Oooh!” (Shakes head) Not my doing.

Language wise — no real complete sentences yet but she’s learning words by the minute. She’ll copy things you say and it sounds just adorable when she tries. For example Shira is “She-shah” and Iara is “Ya-Ya”. She calls her Grandpa (Forrest’s father) “Peepa”. It has taken her two years but she FINALLY says “Mommy” (and when she’s mad to get my attention, ‘Mom!’) and she says very clearly “Memaw” and “Papa” although she hasn’t really started calling Uncle Matt by name, yet… but we are practicing.

She says “Katie” although it comes out sounding like “Kitty” and Carli also can count to 4, and knows the #9. She loves to say “3, 4″ especially.

Carli’s Interests

Right now Carli is obsessed with Diego (from Dora the Explorer) as well as Dora, Elmo, and Ernie. She just loves, loves, loves them. In fact, Diego is her new obsession and she’ll put her hands on each side of her face as if she is suffering utter dispair and yell out, “Diiiieeeegoooooo!” when she wants to watch him. Oh boy. (Can we say crush?!)

Carli loves girly-girl things. Clothing, fake princess shoes, bracelets, rings, and purses. She just loves anything that will get “oohs and ahs” in her general direction. Plus, she can walk in heels like no one elses business. It worries her Dad and I that she is so absolutely girly, yet loves boy things (Cars, trucks.. anything with wheels.. and she likes them fast!) She is going to make some boy an excellent girlfriend (but don’t tell Dad that.. he forbids it!)

Carli meeting her little sister, Katelyn in the hospital for the first time.

Drink wise, her favorite drink of the moment is “tea” and she will yell out for it. She drinks milk, water, and tea. When she’s thirsty she’ll ask, “Tea or Water” as clear as day but if we attempt to give her something else she’ll say “No.. Tea!” as if to remind us what she is REALLY asking for!

Carli is a big fan of fruit “froooot” but not a huge fan of diced pears (she’s crazy!) or raspberries. She loves the occasional blueberry.. strawberries and melons, though!

Adjusting to life as a big sister:

It hasn’t been easy, but there is no doubt that Carli loves and adores her little sister. She knows who “Katie” is and makes sure to say “Hi, Katie” every morning when she sees her. She likes to tell me when Katelyn has “poo pooed” (so she’s a great assistant). Now I just have to teach her to fetch me diaper and wipes, LOL.

Carli doesn’t always know her strength and can be a little rough (goes to tickle, but ends up grabbing, pinching and scratching) which sends Katelyn into hysterics.. which will make Carli cry and then tell Katelyn, “No cry, Katie! No cry!” (meanwhile, crying herself). Though Carli will say “I sorry!” Sometimes Carli will have nothing to do with Katelyn crying and she’ll go “I sorry, Katie. No cry!” (Awe!)

Carli will also tell me she wants to snuggle (signs it) Katie so we’ll let her hold her (with assistance) and she’ll lean down and give her many kisses, and hold her and hug her.. and has even on a few occasions ATTEMPTED to run off with her. She would, if we’d let her but we’re definitely not. Then Carli will sign or say “All done” and we take Katelyn away before she has the chance to shove her off.

I am struggling with equal time between the two, but I am trying. Carli needs one on one attention and I try to give her cuddle time as much as possible when Katelyn is sleeping. I worry constantly that Carli feels replaced or left out and it just hurts me inside.. I never want Carli to feel a second like second best.. because she is the most amazing child and I couldn’t ask for a better first born.

A Little Girl is Born

Katelyn Rain (7/13/10) 5lbs, 10oz and 18" long.

There is a perfectly good excuse for my absence the past two weeks — I have been recovering from giving birth to my second little girl, Katelyn. The past two weeks have been a whirlwind of emotions, both good and bad. No matter the emotion, though, having two wonderful daughters has been such a blessing and I couldn’t consider myself any luckier.

Monday, July 12th, I went to my high risk appointment at 11am. The first thing they wanted to do was an NST (non-stress test). This test involves reclining in a chair with a heart monitor and fetal kick monitor and monitoring me for about an hour. Every time Katelyn moves, I am instructed to hit a button. Well — Katelyn really didn’t move. I figured she was napping as she always does during these NST tests.

Meeting "Memaw" for the first time.

The first thing they decided to do was buzz her, which I hate because it startles the baby which doesn’t exactly feel good. However when they buzzed her, instead of her heart rate going up, it had a dramatic decel. We weren’t exactly sure why until we got to the ultrasound portion of my visit. It was discovered (besides being breech with dwindling fluids) that she had the cord wrapped around her neck. I was instructed to go to the hospital for further monitoring until delivery.

Forrest and I went home to pack (and Carli went with her Memaw) and a few hours later we show up to the hospital. The hospital had no idea we were even coming as our doctor (my regular OB) had no instructed us of our coming. Nice. Our regular OB was going out of town and was doing what he could to delay her delivery. I didn’t like that. I was dealing with a little girl I couldn’t see or touch inside me with a cord around her neck. It didn’t exactly sit well in my realm of emotions. After monitoring me in L&D for about an hour, the nurse said my doctor wanted to send me home until Wednesday. I absolutely freaked out, sobbing. First they tell me that delivery can’t wait because I have a cord wrapped around her neck and then they tell me, “Well she APPEARS stable now.. so go home and wait until delivery.” I did NOT feel comfortable going home and not having her monitored for a few DAYS. Anything could happen and I would never have known. Plus by this time, I had been STARVING for 5 out of the 8 recommended hours before a c-section because I was told NOT to eat and now they were saying, “We’re not going to deliver tonight.” It was just emotionally off the wall, “Are you KIDDING ME?!”

They ended up agreeing to keep me at the hospital until Wednesday and have me monitored the entire time. They moved me to Mother & Child (where people go after giving birth) because it would be a “longer” stay. I was hooked up to the monitor, which was not comfortable as I could only lay on my back. Any time I moved slightly, the heart monitor would move and she would go off the monitor. What irritated me most is the monitor would be beeping about not having a heart beat for five minutes and no one would come. It wasn’t until I was sobbing and Forrest had to go fetch them to find it again. Even though they “see this all the time” didn’t make me any more comfortable with it. What if she HADN’T had moved. What if it WASN’T me? What IF it had been an actual emergency. That was crucial time they had spent diddle daddling around “waiting” to see if Katelyn would move back to the monitor.

Forrest, in love with his new daughter.

After expressing my upset feelings on their lack of speed in seeing if she was okay, they were prompt to show up every time she moved off monitor within a minute or two.

Sleeping was an impossible task and I would break out in tears randomly because I was so unbelievably uncomfortable and felt so alone as Forrest was fast asleep and I couldn’t. I had too much to worry about and it was too late at night to text my friends. Finally around 2am a nurse came in to tell me my doctor had decided to come home early and would be delivering Katelyn at noon. I was relieved. I couldn’t wait to get it over with and couldn’t wait to meet Katelyn. I wanted her to be safe outside my body as I felt I was only endangering her within.

Around 8am the following morning they told me they were shooting for 9:30-10. There really wasn’t enough time after that to get used to the idea. Panic started to set in and before I know it, I was walking into the OR. It wasn’t nearly as cold here as it had been at Winnie Palmer, where I was shaking uncontrollably.

It took the anesthesiologist about half an hour to put in my spinal — which by far was probably the most painful part of the entire surgery. I felt dull painful aches in my spine as my bones split apart. It was hard knowing that with each pain I felt, it was only attempt as they kept having difficulties. Something about my spinal anatomy and as the previous anesthesiologist at Winnie Palmer when I delivered Carli also had a hard time.. I figured they were right.  After a LOT of painful tears, they finally got the spinal working and my legs quickly started falling asleep.

About a week old. Picture taken by Aunt Blair.

The feeling went all the way to my chest and it felt as if I was about to suffocate, not that I did — but it still began to freak me out and I kept saying, “I don’t feel right. I don’t feel right. Is this normal?” They assured me that it was but all I could think about was that I really wanted Forrest there and they hadn’t let him in yet. They actually did not even let him in until they had made the first cut.

Unlike the first c-section, I felt them inside of me. I felt them moving organs, pressing on my rib cage and moving Katelyn around inside. At 10:09am, she graced the world (peeing all over me)– and yes, the cord WAS around her neck. They quickly showed her to me, not that I really had a moment to grasp who I saw withhin seconds, and then they moved her to the side warmer where they checked her out and checked her vitals. I watched Forrest as he stood over her.. touching her and I was jealous. It was a good 15 minutes before I got to hold her.

After they rolled me off the OR table to my bed, they placed Katelyn in my arms and wheeled us to recovery. I was very happy that I got to have her in recovery and attempt to breastfeed right away (although Katelyn, at the time, was too exhausted to attempt it.) For the next 12 hours, she never left the arms of someone (whether it was me, or Forrest, or friends and family).

We stayed in the hospital until the following Friday. Recovery was much easier this time (pain wise) however come Sunday my incision started splitting open and it just made me feel icky to even think of an open wound in my pelvis. We went to the hospital (yes with newborn baby in tow, as I am breastfeeding) and got it taped up. Staples were removed on Tuesday and I was re-taped. It doesn’t hurt so much any more, but it’s still not closed all the way. I worry about infection constantly so have been keeping it dry and applying hydrogen peroxide to it daily.

Monday we received some possibly devastating news in regards to Katelyn having a slightly elevated marker for C4 (Scad Deficiency) in her newborn screening test. It was very slight, over by just .02 points. I spent Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday crying over the possibility of Katelyn being sick but have done a lot of research (on newborn screening tests) and have since spoken to someone in charge of newborn screening within the Florida Department of Health and have been reassured that she is most likely fine.

Markers are set deliberately low in the efforts to catch every sick child, rather than missing one. In doing so, they have a lot of false positives and flag a lot of healthy babies — but it also helps them save lives. Unfortunately for parents of healthy babies, it is a very emotional ordeal to go through so early on in the bonding process of getting to know your newborn. There were moments when I did not want to hold her out of fear of growing even more attached and then there were many more moments that I just couldn’t let go of her.

We took Katelyn back to the hospital Monday evening for a retest and are awaiting to hear the positive news from her pediatrician. It’s been a LONG week.

On a positive note, we have been having a successful time breastfeeding. Katelyn went down to 5lbs, 2oz when we left the hospital and was re-weighed yesterday at the lactation consultant’s office and was weighing in at 5lbs, 11oz. She has passed her birth weight of 5lbs, 10oz! That is amazing! It was only on Monday when weighed at her pedi’s office that she was 5lbs, 5.5 oz! Now that she’s 5lbs, 11oz — I don’t doubt that breastfeeding is working wonderfully for us.

Anyway — I just wanted to express why I have been absent for the past two weeks. Recovering from a c-section isn’t a fast process (not for the majority) and have been taking it easy — spending a lot of time in bed (which is no where near my computer).

If you have any free moment, please send out any thoughts and prayers Katelyn’s way that she passes her rescreen with flying colors and is as healthy as healthy can be!

Stomach Virus = Not so fun at 9 months pregnant.

I have been in paranoia since October washing my hands and staying away from anyone who had the stomach virus. After last year’s July norovirus issue (both Forrest and I getting it) — the last thing I wanted was to ever go through another stomach virus.. ever. The last thing I would imagine would be that it would happen when I am 9 months pregnant.

Woke up at midnight on Tuesday not feeling so hot. By the time Forrest’s alarm went off at 5:30 to head off to work, I told him he needed to call in and take care of Carli. Feeling really bad and needing some relief from the nausea so I could continue to drink water to stay hydrated (in sake for the baby) I called my OB at 8:00.. and proceeded to call him every few hours. He was just not easy at all to get a hold of. (Glad to know…) On top of that, I had to leave a VOICEMAIL with his triage nurse. A VOICEMAIL. I couldn’t talk to ANYONE.

So finally, very weak at this point — I decided to go into the hospital. Screw that. He wasn’t going to help me so I’ll just go into the hospital where I know I’ll get fluids that I need, especially for the sake of Katelyn, who I am still carrying.

So I get to L&D and I ring the buzzer so I can be let in. No one answers. I ring it again. No one answers. Someone who worked there passed by and I asked, “How do I get in? No one is answering.” and he was like “You just have to ring the buzzer.” No shit, Sherlock. Thanks for the help. About 15 minutes later and about 5-6 buzzes, they finally answer. I am sure glad I wasn’t in actual labor or I think I would have just laid right on that floor and pushed the baby out myself in retaliation.

I fill out the darn paperwork and put on the hospital gown, which doesn’t even cover my butt (what the heck?) They ran some tests to make sure I was actually dehydrated, only to come back and be like “Oh you’re pretty dehydrated. There were a lot of keotones showing up. Let’s get you started on some IV fluids.” (Is it natural for doctors/nurses not to believe a patient when they say they are sick and dehydrated?)

So I am laying there in a bed that is not so comfy. I have an IV in one arm (the spot right above my wrist bone so it hurts exceptionally bad). Then I had the monitors on, which made it very awkward to move at ALL or get comfortable. I did anyway and of course they would have to come in and find the baby again and move the monitor.

I received two bags and was finally able to leave around 10:30pm. They offered me another bag but I was feeling much better so I opted for going home and going to sleep.

Today I am feeling a lot better. My mother has Carli since I am not allowed to be around anyone for a few days. I thought the usual time away from people was 48 hours, but now I am reading 3 days. It’s kind of freaking me out because I know no one else can watch my child. I do feel a lot better, but — I also do not want Carli getting sick.

On top of that, I went to wash my sheets because you’re supposed to after someone who has been sick has been laying in them. However, I forgot my phone was on my bed from when I was napping and texting people back in between bouts of being awake.. and well, it wasn’t until less than 5 minutes after I turned on the wash when I realized, “Where is my phone?” So I am out in the garage, pulling heavily soaked comforter and sheets out of the washer when I find my poor.. sweet.. iPhone.

!@#$%^&*(

It’s now sitting in a tub of rice, hoping that will help. The past 48 hours have not been going my way.