Toddlers and Children – Developing a Healthy Self Image

A happy toddler!

The importance of a healthy self image for children cannot be underestimated. Many behavioral problems in older children stem from a negative self image.

One of the greatest gifts we can give to our children is an awareness, as their parents, of creating opportunities for our children to develop a strong self image.

A healthy self image is not something that you can build for your child. It is a by-product of perceptions and reactions that your child forms him/herself as a result of many varied interactions and experiences over time. It is not the result of a child’s achievements, but rather an inner knowing of being valued and accepted for who they are not what they do, and knowing they are seen, recognized, valued and heard.

A child wants such simple things:

• To be loved
• To matter
• To be listened to

As children grow and become aware of their own identity as separate from their parents, we can help them to connect with their sense of self by being their mirror and reflecting them back to themselves.

We can reflect to them:

• their worth and value
• their uniqueness
• their relationship to life through nature
• their relationship to extended family
• their sense of adventure and risk taking
• their skills and talents
• their inner beauty

We do this by giving them the opportunities to feel, know and experience this for themselves.

• By taking the time to tell them about their special needs.
• Through acknowledgment and praise of their achievements
• Through giving them a deep sense of connection to us as parents.
• By allowing relationships to grow and develop with grandparents and other family members.
• By making regular one on one time with them.

Children know that what their parents put lots of time into is truly important to their parents. Let your children know that they are truly important to you. Tell them as well as showing them. Children learn by example and modeling. Show them in your relationship with your partner how to cherish another person’s self image. Model to them how fulfilling relationships create a strong sense of self image. Make statements your children can learn from such as:

“I felt really good about myself when I realized you rushed home to spend time with me”.

Our strength of purpose arises out of a sense of our identity, which brings with it the power to initiate and make choices. We spend much of our lifetime involved in this journey around self image.

As St Francis of Assisi once wrote,

“Who we are looking for is who is looking”.

Negative Self Image

A negative self image is perpetuated and enforced within us by a negative inner critical voice. Make the voice your child hears within a positive, loving and trustworthy voice. Create strong, clear and consistent boundaries so that your child learns to trust and feel secure.

As parents, have the awareness to work consistently on your own sense of positive self image so that your child learns from what they see, know and experience.

Helen Williams
Editor Consistent Parenting Advice.com
http://www.consistent-parenting-advice.com/index.html

Author: Helen R Williams
Article Source: EzineArticles.com
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