Update on the “Bug” #Pregnancy #VBAC #Doula

Last week I went to a new OBGYN in Winter Park, as recommended to me by a friend. As it turns out, it is a small practice as their hours are by appointment only. So the wait was literally, less than 5 minutes. I went in, filled out a few sheets of paperwork and they took me back. No real wait. It was nice.

He wanted to check the status of the subchorionic hematoma/bleeding. The last OBGYN didn’t say anything other than it was “small”. No measurements, although I know they measured it.

When checking, my NEW OBGYN was very happy to say that he saw no such clot anymore, that it had dissolved itself. I was off the floor so happy that it was gone. On top of that, they had dated the baby wrong and I was no longer behind on my date, but right on time with my LMP. I walked in at 7 weeks, 5 days and walked out being 8 weeks, 4 days. I finally felt like I was getting somewhere!

We also sat down and discussed my desire to have a VBAC and he told me quite frankly that WP Hospital does not do VBACS, and as I checked the ICAN list, he was in fact correct. They have a DeFacto Ban, which isn’t a written policy – just kind of an unsaid rule. They will do anything to give you a c-section if you’ve had a previous c-section. Well damnit to hell!

But then he said, “You can just go to a different hospital. I won’t be able to deliver, but it’s possible you may get what you want from a different hospital.” And I knew just the hospital.

Fighting for my VBAC is tough, tough, work. It seems that the only way to get a VBAC without the guilt is hiring a midwife and birthing at home. Well, my home is NOT my sanctuary. It’s rather chaotic and not the environment I imagine birthing a child into. Plus, I know it’s perfectly safe to have a homebirth – but I just don’t feel safe. I haven’t even experienced labor before, let alone have confidence in myself to know what is normal and what is not normal during labor.

I was highly recommended a midwife, who was an EMT for close to 20 years – and of course that would make me feel more comfortable and secure – but, still. I just keep thinking, “If something happened to me and/or the baby because of my stubbornness to have my baby naturally – what will happen to my marriage? Will Forrest ever forgive me if something should happen?” Man pregnancy politics in the US really know how to lay the on the guilt.

I think I would feel most comfortable in a hospital environment but have been told that if I choose to go to a hospital to birth – then I have to be prepared to fight for my rights to deliver a healthy baby the way G-d intended, naturally. I am weak – I am. So my ICAN chapter recommended getting a doula, which costs around $600 and I am not sure that is something we can afford with so many other things that we need. Man, I wish I personally knew of a Doula who was a friend of the family. (But if life were only that simple).

So my current plan is, if my pregnancy is uneventful and healthy and if at the last ultrasound s/he is head down – I will try to labor as much as I can at home before heading to the more baby/VBAC friendly hospital. Who knows? Maybe I am a natural birther and it will be easy for me to labor as much as I can at home before heading to the hospital. Maybe I’ll enter the hospital at 8cm and fully effaced and when they try to tell me that I need a c-section, I can give them a big ol “F-you! Let me have this baby my way.” and push out a baby in 2 pushes an hour later. (Hey, it’s possible!)

If I can accomplish having my VBAC, then by FL Law (as I’ve heard it) I will be able to birth my child at a birthing center my next pregnancy because I’ve already had a successful VBAC. Or maybe I’ll think the whole thing was manageable enough to do at home. (Oh my god, I can’t believe I am discussing the possibility of #3. I need to stop that talk!)

I would love to hear from mothers who have had successful VBACS!